Top 10 Ways to Recognize Prank Spam

Alright, it's time for a technology lesson from yours truly. The fact that I'm still getting these emails from my immediate family means that I'm failing in my duty as a tech guru.

BLUF (Bottom Line Up Front): EMAILS LIKE THE ONE BELOW ARE FAKE. Plain and simple. Don't believe them, don't forward them--even just to see if something is going to happen. It won't.

1. Here are 10 things to look for in messages like this that are sure signs you're being had:
   The author feels like they have to establish their credibility before they get to the point (eg. "I work in this industry so I KNOW", "I'm a doctor and TRUST ME ON THIS", "My friend is an attorney and THEY KNOW THE LAW", etc.). In the immortal words of Margaret Thatcher, "[Being credible] is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't."
   
2. There are hints of some "big brother"-type conspiracy (eg. "when you open this email, MICROSOFT KNOWS", "WalMart gets a notice every time someone reads this", "the government will know when you open this" etc.). Statements like this are designed to prey on the conspiracy theorists among us. As much as you'd like to believe that the government, Microsoft, or WalMart are reading all of your email--THEY AREN'T!!! It's questionable if it is even possible, but even if it were, it just isn't economically feasible or reasonable.
   
3. $. Any promise of getting something for nothing, no matter what, is a sure sign that the email is a hoax. No company out there is waiting to give you money for just forwarding an email. The old axiom "If it sounds too good to be true--it probably is," applies here. If they're promising money, goods, or prizes, steer clear.
   
4. They cite sources without actually providing any. To establish an air of legitimacy, they say things like, "I saw this on the news" or some other form of "I got this from a reputable source". But they never actually provide the source. The email below cites Good Morning America and The Today Show, but they don't give a date or a link to the show. If they're citing a source, do what good journalists do and corroborate. If they are obscuring their source, it's because THERE ISN'T ONE.
   
5. Phony contact information. Look at the originating email address and the name of the sender. If they look illegitimate, they probably are. For instance, I dialed the number of the alleged 'Charles S Bailey General Manager Field Operations'in the signature block below and got, "This number cannot be reached." In the words of Iago, "I think I'm going to have a heart attack and die of not surprise."
   
6. It can be found on Snopes.com. The folks at snopes.com have built an entire website just for debunking (or substantiating) popular myths. When in doubt, go there and do a search. Check out what they have to say about THIS VERY EMAIL: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/nothing/microsoft-aol.asp. They're a little harsher than I have been, but the point is the same.
   
7. They want you to forward it to everyone. This is the crux of most hoax emails. They just want to have a little laugh at our expense so they sit down with a few friends and type up a bunch of nonsense just to see how many "gullible netizens" they can get to forward their concoction.
   
8. "I don't usually do this but..." Another sure-fire sign of a hoax.
   
9. They tell you something is going to happen automatically because of the magic of computers and the internet (eg. "I didn't believe this would work, but sure enough, my computer did my laundry--just try it!" or "I know this doesn't seem likely, but try it--it works!") This one is a variation on #2, but instead of preying on conspiracy theorists, they're trying to fool those of us who don't understand technology. Computers aren't magic, if something seems unlikely or impossible, trust your gut, it probably is. Weird Al did a spot-on parody of this in his song Virus Alert, read it for a good laugh.
   
10. "Trust me on this one..." I suppose that if they can't sucker us with 1-9 they'll give it a last-ditch effort by appealing to our propensity to blindly trust random strangers. Your mother taught you better than that.
    

May hoax emails like the poor example below die a cold and lonely death in cyberspace because people like yourself are too smart to forward them.

Merry Christmas!

Ben Rich

> --- On Fri, 12/5/08, Someone wrote:> > > From: NAME WITHHELD TO PROTECT MY INNOCENT FAMILY MEMBERS> > Subject: Fw: PLEEEEEEEEASE REEEEEAD! IT WAS ON GOOD MORNINGAMERICATODAYSHOW]> > To: A bunch of innocent victims> > Date: Friday, December 5, 2008, 2:09 AM> > ---THIS TOOK TWO PAGES OF THE TUESDAY USA TODAY - IT IS FOR REAL
!!!! It was on the news! Kathy South Alcoa - EHS Maintenance Coordinator Phone: 765/771 - 3547 Pager : 765/420 - 6575
To all of my friends, I do not usually forward messages, But this is from my good friend Pearlas Sandborn and she really is an attorney.
If she says that this will work - It will work. After all, What have you got to lose? SORRY EVERYBODY.. JUST HAD TO TAKE THE CHANCE!!! I'm an attorney, And I know the law. This thing is for real. Rest assured AOL and Intel will follow through with their promises for fear of facing a multimillion-dollar class action suit similar to the one filed by PepsiCo against General Electric not too long ago.
Dear Friends; Please do not take this for a junk letter. Bill Gates sharing his fortune. If you ignore this, You will repent later. Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet companies and in an effort to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.
When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track it ( If you are a Microsoft Windows user) For a two weeks time period.
For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you $245.00 For every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Microsoft will pay you $243.00 and for every third person that receives it, You will be paid $241.00. Within two weeks, Microsoft will contact you for your address and then send you a check.
Regards. Charles S Bailey General Manager Field Operations 1-800-842-2332 Ext. 1085 or 904-1085 or RNX 292-1085 Charles_Bailey@csx.com Charles_bailey@csx.com
I thought this was a scam myself, But two weeks after receiving this e-mail and forwarding it on. Microsoft contacted me for my address and within days, I receive a check for $24,800.00. You need to respond before the beta testing is over. If anyone can afford this, Bill gates is the man.
It's all marketing expense to him. Please forward this to as many people as possible. You are bound to get at least $10,000.00. We're not going to help them out with their e-mail beta test without getting a little something for our time. My brother's girlfriend got in on this a few months ago. When i went to visit him for the Baylor/UT game. She showed me her check. It was for the sum of $4,324.44 and was stamped "Paid in full"
Like I said before, I know the law, and this is for real.
Intel and AOL are now discussing a merger which would make them the largest Internet company and in an effort make sure that AOL remains the most widely used program, Intel and AOL are running an e-mail beta test. When you forward this e-mail to friends, Intel can and will track it (if you are a Microsoft Windows user) for a two week time period.